Despite countless tries, I can’t seem to get on a schedule. I have no idea how other
people PhD students do it; when do they do their washing up or laundry? I mean all of this life gets in my way and then next thing I know it’s 5pm and I’ve got nothing done. I know the answer is get up early, but with this medication I am on, it is not really feasible. It knocks me out for a good 12 hours; not much I can do about it. If I were to want to get up for 8 or 9 am I’d need to take the medication at 6pm, rendering me asleep by 7. That’s just crap. Right now I take it between 10-11 and am pretty much out until 10ish in the morning. Unless I have a crap night’s sleep, like last night, when I was awake until 2 am stressing about all of this. I think if I had a job to go to it would be easier, and people say I should just go to my office. However I can’t work in the office because of the lights. I’d manage about 2 hours tops without wanting to vomit from the headache the lights give me. I know it sounds like excuses, but I really can’t change the fact I have chronic daily headache syndrome, and the uni isn’t about to give me a workspace with no lights. FML. So this was Thursday.
11:30: (I know, I know) wake up. Headache is unbearable already. Also extremely anxious; just what I need.
11:30-12: pee, take meds, check email, start coffee
12-12:15: make something to eat. Bailey wants chicken. I find him a new toy; one that came in his Christmas box. (Not to be confused with Christmas Box. Haha.) (OK, I know like ONE of you got that, right?)
12:15-12:30: eat, check internets
12:30-12:45: get dressed, put hair up
12:45-1: realise something needs to go out to the post; find tape, gets stuff ready. This takes longer than it should b/c my hands are shaking from the anxiety despite the valium.
1-1:15: make sure I have everything I need for post office and physio appointment after, like my trainers. It snowed overnight so I’m wearing my boots with the fur.
1:15-1:30: walk to post office, mail items
1:30-1:45 walk to physio
1:45-2:15: wait for physio. I know I was early; there’s a half hour wasted, but I never know how long the lines will be at the post office, better to be safe than sorry. Also I have to be early for everything
2:15-2:45: physio appt. Prognosis is good. I wish the paresthetica meralgia would ease up.
2:45-3: walk home
3-3:45: shower, dry hair, get dressed, put in load of laundry, make salad, start this post. Hands are still shaking. Am feeling very lightheaded and anxious still.
3:45-4: take vitamins, wash dishes I used for salad, watch trailer for the Spooks movie
4-4:15: Because I am meeting Steph for dinner (we have a voucher, last day to use it is today) I slap some make up on; put away laundry
4:15-5: edit this post, catch up on email, etc as I need to leave I know starting work will not benefit me, just make me more stressed out
5-6: travel into city centre, buy a new iphone cable, browse a bit before meeting for dinner
8: home. Despite only having most of 1 glass of wine, I’m feeling tipsy.
Attempt to be proactive and get the items that I’ve sold (I started listing things before I got my loans in desperation) so I can take them to the post office tomorrow.
It’s 11 now and I need to start getting ready for bed. I’ve walked 17.5K steps today. Impressive. I didn’t think I did all that much walking around either today, but I was busy around the flat and everything rather than just sitting on the couch; I was always doing something today, just not what I was supposed to be doing.